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"Why do the French say 'Etats Unis' when they talk about the United States. Doesn't that mean, like vacation or somethin'?" -Efrem, for whom "Etats Unis" truly means vacation. Though it quite literally means United States.
"Mom, can I have brownies for breakfast?" -Silas, a chip off the old block
"You come with me. You'll be my baseball bat." -Silas, talking to Efrem just after Dad told him he couldn't take a baseball bat downstairs while taking out the garbage.
"How could you lose the miracle of noodles?" -Efrem, after his mom said she was tired of having noodles at lunch
"Dad, do you comb your hair?" - Silas
"Don't make me smile! I can't whistle when I'm smiling." -Silas, who must really like to whistle
"Being homesick is better than being carsick because if you're carsick you're sick to your stomach but if you're homesick you're just sad." -Efrem, the great philosopher
Efrem: Daddy, does the tooth fairy really exist? Dan: Do you really want to know? Efrem: Yeah. Dan: No, he doesn't exist. Efrem: What?! Then who puts the money under my pillow, Santa?
"May rocks!" -Efrem (he learned this from his daddy, but it's cool that he too recognizes it)
"You need another girl that can understand you." -Silas to May
"Josh Groban should be in musicals, the kind I wouldn't watch." -May, concluding her rant
Dan: What are you doing? Silas: I'm writing my Christmas list. Dan: Are you going to include 'peace on earth' and 'good will toward men'? Silas: Maybe, if I have room.
Dan: I have too much chalent to do non-chalent. May: Whatever, you don't have any chalent.
"The Cat in the Hat is a rock star, man!" - Efrem, who is really into Dr. Seuss
"There's no pause on television?" - Efrem, it's a different generation...
"I'll bet it would be difficult to tell between a real bird and a robot bird." - Silas, while watching a bird search the cracks between our porch stones.
"Is it hot in the deep end? Where is the deep end?" - Efrem, while eating a cup of soup
"Swiss means cheese." - Silas, while watching the USA playing Switzerland in olympic hockey
"I bet the Belgians don't use that word anymore!" - May venting about the word "hebdomadaire"
"This soup is not gracious!" -Silas, who really didn't like our pumpkin soup with curry.
"Bass guitar is like salt. You can't really taste it, but you can tell when it's not there." - May, who plays violin and lives in the melody of the moment.
"When that guy had food coming out of his ears, did he go see the doctor?" - Efrem, following his sharp five year old logic.
"I knew it, it's sunny!" - Efrem, going to look at our weather station, even though the sun was shining in our window.
"When I'm a man am I gonna get whiskers? Whiskers make you talk like a man." - Efrem (4 years old)
"What are you makin' in this world?" -Efrem to Silas (4 years old)
Dan: Mommy and Daddy haven't shown you guys our superpowers yet.
Efrem: You guys' super powers is spanking.
"That's enough! I don't want to get a chocolate mustache!"
-Efrem (4 years old) as Dan was generously frosting a birthday cake.
"Forget-me-nots are soo pretty because God made forget-me-nots."
-Efrem, the flower lover (4 years old).
"I think we need new batteries."
-Efrem, after he had plugged the vacuum cleaner into the telephone outlet.
"It looks like merry Christmas!"
-Efrem (3 years old) as we drove up the mountain to a ski area and finally saw some snow.
"It feels lonely now."
-Silas (almost 7 years old) as we took down Christmas decorations.
Silas: I'm serious!
May: Hello serious, I'm May
Silas: Don't start that again, or else I'm leavin' (pause) with the car!
"Don't dance...please."
-May...to Dan. No explanation needed.
"You are NOT my grandparent!"
-Efrem (3 years old) to Silas, who sometimes acts like a parent, or er grandparent...
"Cool, look at those cloud formations!"
-Silas (6 years old), did you ever say "cloud formations" when you were in first grade?
May, while combing Silas' hair: See, Efrem, I'm making Silas handsome.
Efrem to Silas: I'll save you!
"I'm not very grammarish."
-May
"Eat now and your stomach will get used to it later."
-Dan to Silas, before his stomach was awake in the morning.
"My hair is falling"
-Efrem (3 years old) as he stretched his curly bangs down past his eyes.
"Do you know who won the [baseball] game we saw? The Oreos!"
-Silas (6 years old) after seeing the Mariners and Orioles play.
"I need to sun scream!"
-Efrem (3 years old)
"It doesn't seem edible, but I'll try it."
-Silas (6 years old) having lamb roast for dinner.
"That's like throwing a question out of an airplane. You need a parachute on it."
-May, at a loss to respond to one of Silas' vague questions.
"It was the most sensible of the non-sense."
-May on French kitchens.
"This is my treasure."
-Efrem (3 years old) holding his favorite toy - for that day.
Dan talking to Silas: Life is quick.
Silas: It's not as quick as you think. Life is as slow as the world turns.
"Who's being jurassic around here?"
-Silas (6 years old), commenting on his dad eating cabbage.
"This morning I want Rice Krispies and newborn bread!"
-Silas (6 years old), as the smell of May's homemade bread filled the apartment.
"Drinking coffee stunts your imagination."
-Dan, yes it's a theory, but probably true.
"I think that when you turn 33 you will have already forgotten this day."
-Silas (5 years old) after a little disciplinary talking to.
"I have an internet in my brain"
-Silas (5 years old) something I never said when I was 5!
"Efrem doesn't appreciate my art!"
-Silas (5 years old) after Efrem accidentally broke Silas' clay boat.
"Having kids ages you about 20 years in 15 minutes."
-May (but I think she looks pretty young, don't you?)
"Are you just about to blow up?"
-Silas (5 years old) to May during an allergy sneezing fit.
"It's very ingenius and I love it!"
-Silas (5 years old) commenting on Easter Peeps.
"I guess winter came to say a little bye-bye."
-Silas (5 years old) on a snowy day in April.
"My tongue is sticky!"
-Silas (5 years old)
"This house is a Workman sandwich."
-Silas (5 years old), we're on the middle of three floors.
"It (the moon) misses us to smithereens"
-Silas (5 years old), as the moon slid behind a hill while we were driving home.
"Let's separate into one group."
-Silas (almost 5)
May talking to Efrem: Silas loves that kind of cheese (mozzarella).
Silas: I ate it SO many times and it did not kill me!
"Won't it be amazing when my hands work?"
-May, referring to the sores and peeling skin on her palms and fingers.
Dan talking to Efrem: Ouch! don't bite.
Silas: What happened?
May: Efrem bit daddy.
Silas with a frightened gasp: Is he poisonous?
"If you drink too much coffee it will turn you into cement"
-Silas (4 years old), we have no idea where that came from.
"Do you think I'm as loose as a monkey?"
-Silas (4 years old)
"Do dinosaurs have souls?"
-Silas (4 years old)
"This music is obnoxious!"
-Silas (4 years old), commenting on his dad's "Blue Man Group" album.
"Careful not to get coffee in your nose."
-Silas (4 years old)
"I get to go be silly. Have fun, guys, being normal"
-May, about to go on her language learning route
"Hey momma, have you ever got your face inside out?"
-Silas (4 years old)
"I lost my tastebuds at France."
-Silas (4 years old)
"I don't know where my eyebrows are."
-Silas (4 years old)
"You have shoe sprawl."
-May
"What's for dinner tomorrow, babe?"
-Silas (4 years old) to his mom, he knows that's not appropriate now
A conversation between Silas (4 years old) and Dan:
Silas - What if this whole place (our apartment) was filled up with pajamas, up to the ceiling, and we couldn't hear the buzzer? What then?
Dan - What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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